Way back in the 1990s, a young Detroit guitar player named Jack Gillis (soon to be rechristened Jack White) worked as an apprentice upholsterer by day with a fellow musician named Brian Muldoon. Eventually, Jack went out on his own and opened his own shop called Third Man Upholstery, which carried the slogan “Your Furniture’s Not Dead.” Jack continued to work with Brian in a band called–surprise–The Upholsters who recorded two singles.
They released the first but hid 100 copies of the second inside couches they were refurbishing. So far, only two of them have ever turned up. So if you’re in the Detroit area and ever had Jack redo some of your furniture, you might want to tear it apart. Oh—and one other thing: the single is called “Your Furniture Was Always Dead…I Was Just Afraid to Tell You.”