Let’s face it, being a foodie is not exactly the top priority for most hard working adults who just want to shove their face full of leftover stir-fry and an $11 bottle of wine after a difficult day at work. And while your plan for the perfect night might be to binge-watch Friends and eating whatever is edible in your fridge, sometimes your social life has other plans. Plans like attending a fancy dinner party at a trendy restaurant for a friend’s engagement or birthday party.
Here’s how to survive a trip out with foodies if your idea of fine dining is Kraft Dinner on the “good plates”.
Learn how to describe your food.
Being a foodie is about being able to explain to your fellow diners the foodgasm that is happening in your mouth. But you can’t use the word “delicious” eight times in a row and expect them to understand. Here’s where words like succulent and briny come in handy. Brush up on your lingo before you head out with a quick search on good ole Google for popular foodie terms.
And stay away from words you don’t know how to pronounce.
Pointing is cool, pointing is totally cool. I point all the time at stuff I can’t pronounce on a menu so that I don’t actually have to say the word. Like pronouncing simple French terms such as crème fraiche. Is it crème fresh? Crème fray-sh? Who knows.
If I owned a restaurant and someone asked for a deconstructed steak sandwich I would give them a cow and a sword— bea_ker (@bea_ker) May 23, 2015
Don’t mention a chain as your favourite restaurant.
Okay, real talk. We all know Red Lobster is the bomb dot com, but foodies steer clear of most chain restaurants. And while I have been known to smuggle three to five cheese biscuits in my purse at any given Red Lobster visit, the reality is that foodies want cultured, farm fresh food with a creative edge that you usually can’t find at a chain.
Do as the foodies do.
One of the easiest ways to appear that you know what you’re talking about is to just do what the foodies do. How does that old saying go – fake it ‘til you make it? The same goes for blending in with your culinary-inclined friends. If they dip that weird looking piece of meat into that reddish brown dip, give it a try.
Ask the waiter.
Although many people think foodies know all there is to know when it comes to food, sometimes they want to hear from the person who spends every day in the restaurant. Ask questions like “are the ingredients in this dish locally sourced” or “what wine would you suggest pairing with this appetizer”. Pretend you’re online dating. You wouldn’t just pick someone because they look OK and their profile has a few good one liners. You’d message them, ask them some questions, and get to know them so that you can make sure committing to a date will be the best experience possible.
Know how to read a menu.
MP means market price (i.e. ask how much it is before you order it because it’s probably going to cost more than you expect). Deconstructed means it’s got all the ingredients of a Caesar salad but probably won’t look like one. It’s creative, completely inefficient, and a little odd… but also really cool.
The trick to reading a menu with ease? Have a good data plan that lets you sneak to the bathroom to Google terms you aren’t familiar with.
Don’t complain about calories or fat content.
The love of food knows no bounds and when real foodies eat out they aren’t worried about what the scale will say the next day. Seriously, good food is meant to be enjoyed. It’s an experience, not just sustenance, and if you only eat out once every two weeks, there’s really no harm in going for something indulgent.
Smile, nod and change the subject.
If all else fails just smile, nod and change the subject to something you know a lot about that they might not. It’ll throw them for a loop.