Sr. Brand Manager, Medical Cannabis
That is the official title of the position Shoppers Drug Mart is looking to fill at one of its Toronto locations. So yes, they are looking to hire an experienced drug dealer. If you need more convincing than just the job title, I’ve included some screenshots of the actual ‘Position Summary’ from Shoppers’ website. The first one is an explanation for “Why this role is important”…
Sounds very professional and legit, right? Now read the duties.
“Have a thorough understanding of the cannabis market”, “drive prescription growth”, “coordinate the rollout”, “establish and build working relationships”…this is sounding more and more like what a lot of my friends did to get themselves through college. And it doesn’t get better with the requirements (or it does depending on how you’re looking at it).
Ok, first off, they don’t even specify that “experience in the cannabis industry” had to have been legitimate work. Does that mean anyone could walk off the street and bring in their ‘clients’ as job references? And another requirement, “must be adept at Microsoft PowerPoint, Excel and Project.” Those are skills you learn in the first year of high school!
The “ability to manage external relationships” and “demonstrated problem solving skills” requirements make it sound like they’re looking for someone who’s willing to eat pizza with the clients, as well as show some tough love when certain outstanding balances aren’t received. In other words, someone who has a way with their words and their fists.
So what I’ve gathered from this very official job application is that Shoppers is looking for someone young and advertising savvy, who also has 4-6 years experience in the marijuana business, and is a smooth talker who can handle their own when placed into a tough situation.
So essentially, they’re looking for a high school dropout with basic communication skills and drug dealing experience. We all know at least one person who fits that description. Pass it on!