A new survey from QMI Agency takes five of rock's biggest and best-known frontmen and asks a simple question: which one should be replaced? According to the article, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nickelback, Limp Bizkit, Motley Crue and Van Halenall need to fire their singers ASAP. Here are the reasons why:
The survey notes that Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth "has always played by his own rules," but that on the band's current tour, he "isn't even in the game anymore." The article adds, "He changes melodies and lyrics, ad libs ad nauseam, scats over solos and generally acts like he can't be bothered to sing on time or in key. Nobody expects him to be a robot. But if he can't even pay lip service to the material, maybe it's time for a change."
The Chili Peppers' Anthony Kiedis is described as "one of rock's most visible triple threats...He can barely hold a note, he's an abysmally amateurish rapper and his lyrics are little more than gobbledygook and hippie gibberish cobbled together from rhyming dictionaries, atlases and any other reference book he apparently happens to have handy."
Meanwhile, Nickelback's Chad Kroeger "may not have invented that post-grunge moose-in-heat bellow he relies on, but nobody does it better. And by better, I mean worse. Trouble is, even if his bandmates fired him, it wouldn't help . . . At least this way their combined lack of talent is confined to one band."
A favorite punching bag of critics and fans, Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst, has supposedly ruined his band with his "aggressively wretched rapping, sub-moronic lyrics and mook-thug antics . . . these guys must have developed incredible pain thresholds over the decades just to cope with the day-to-day horror."
And finally, Vince Neil of Motley Crue "plays fast and loose with lyrics and melodies, his voice is surprisingly thin, and he seems to have difficulty sustaining notes or staying on key . . . however, Neil's problems seem to stem less from a runaway ego and more from a simple lack of talent."
The poll, posted at Jam! Music, had Roth in the lead and Kroeger within a percentage point of him the last time we checked, with Durst coming on strong in third place and Neil and Kiedis a distant fourth and fifth place.